What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
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