If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
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