The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Go to BabaMail
