If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
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