What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
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