What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
After having learned the history of chess, I have come to the conclusion that all chess players have quite a checkered past.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
If someone else would have invented the airplane, it wouldn't have been Wright.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
Gladiator.
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