Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
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