Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Before America was founded, the idea of a democratic nation in the New World was unPresidented.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Go to BabaMail
