What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Prepare to be bowled over.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
We’ll have a ball.
All punts are highly intended
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Having a ball
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
I feel tail great!
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