By the seat of one’s punt
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
We’ll have a ball.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Give me some pigskin
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Join us for plenty of play action.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
All punts are highly intended
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
I like your tight end
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Football is one habit I will never kick
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
The huddle is real
Prepare to be bowled over.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
We’re calling your number.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
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