Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Case in punt
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
The huddle is real
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
All punts are highly intended
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Prepare to be bowled over.
The calm before the score
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
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