Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Calm before the score
I feel tail great!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Give me some pigskin
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Having a ball
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
The huddle is real
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Football is one habit I will never kick
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Case in punt
By the seat of one’s punt
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
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