Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Having a ball
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
We’re calling your number.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Calm before the score
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Give me some pigskin
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
I feel tail great!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
By the seat of one’s punt
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Case in punt
Prepare to be bowled over.
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