The goal nine yards
Case in punt
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
We’re calling your number.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Calm before the score
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I feel tail great!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I like your tight end
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Having a ball
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Give me some pigskin
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
The huddle is real
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
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