Case in punt
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
The calm before the score
Beauty is only pig skin deep
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Give me some pigskin
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
The huddle is real
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
I feel tail great!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
All punts are highly intended
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
We’ll have a ball.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
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