When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.