Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.