What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.