What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
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