What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
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