Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
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