When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
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