What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
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