Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
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