Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.