Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
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