Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
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