What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.