[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Give me some pigskin
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
We’re calling your number.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Calm before the score
By the seat of one’s punt
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Go to BabaMail
