Calm before the score
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
The calm before the score
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Give me some pigskin
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
We’re calling your number.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Football is one habit I will never kick
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Case in punt
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
The huddle is real
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I like your tight end
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
The goal nine yards
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Go to BabaMail
