What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
I feel tail great!
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
I made a snap decision to watch football today
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
All punts are highly intended
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Having a ball
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
The goal nine yards
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I like your tight end
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
We’ll have a ball.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
The calm before the score
Calm before the score
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
The huddle is real