Give me some pigskin
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Having a ball
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Case in punt
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I like your tight end
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
The calm before the score
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
By the seat of one’s punt
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Prepare to be bowled over.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
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