Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
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