Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
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