I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
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