Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
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