What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
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