Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
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