What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.