What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
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