Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
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