Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
I feel tail great!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
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