What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
I like your tight end
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
The calm before the score
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
I could go on and on about Salming but I don't want to Borje.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
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