If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
We’re calling your number.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
What is the difference between Barry Zito and bowling icon Walter Ray Williams, Jr.?
Walter Ray Williams, Jr. knows how to throw a strike.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
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