The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
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