If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
All punts are highly intended
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
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