Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Prepare to be bowled over.
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
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