Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
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