You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
My moment in the sun.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Deep sea diving is so dangerous.
I just can’t fathom it.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Get in the swim this summer.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?
It is ridiculous having a basketball team that lacks a website. Do you mean none of them can string three W’s together?
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
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