What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
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