Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
You wake up wet!
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.