Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Did you hear about the guy who fell in love with a tree? They say he was a tree hugger.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.