Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
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