Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
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