What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: Which pretty actress was an ancient Egyptian favorite?
A: Pharaoh Fawcett
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
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