Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
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