How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
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