Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What do you call it when the Bigfoot in charge makes pasta for all the others?
Alpha Yeti Spaghetti!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Skeleton 2: I don't know. Why?
Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Someone who does not become a witch until they're old is a late broomer.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What did the giant say after he ate Fiji?
- I want Samoa!
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
What is a Ghost’s favourite toy to play with? Leg-oooooooooooooooo!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
The skeleton couldn't keep anything tidy because of his lazy bones.
Come witch me to the party.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What kind of ghoul has the best hearing?
The eeriest!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
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