Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Who did the ghost take to prom? His ghoulfriend.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
What did one witch's cat say to the other?
You look familiar.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What do you get if you cross a witch with a werewolf?
A mad dog that chases airplanes!
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Shrek isn't bad, but he's not that great either. I guess you could say he's medi-ogre.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
What do you call a werewolf with a fever?
A hot dog.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Finding Bigfoot will be no small feat.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What does Bigfoot do to relax in his spare time?
He goes bird squatching!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
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