What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What do ghouls eat for supper? Spooketi
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
I've always wondered if it was easy to catch Bigfoot...
I was relieved when my doctor told me it wasn't a disease.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What is it called when a skeleton lawyer works for free!
Pro Bone-O.
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
What do you do when a ton of ghosts show up at your house? Hope that it’s Halloween!
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It's all over town!
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What game do Ghost children play? Hide and shriek!
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong?
In the skelebin.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
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