When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
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