What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
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