What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
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