What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
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