The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
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