What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
The skeleton was scared of going skiing, he didn’t want to wrist it.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Mommy, Mommy, what’s a werewolf?
Don’t worry about that honey and comb your face!
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
What did the Japanese skeleton put in his sushi?
Bone-ito flakes.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What do you call a Yeti Gardener?
A hairy potter.
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
Witches are always wand-ering around…
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What do you call a goblin with an injured leg?
A hobblin' goblin.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
A monster terrorized a village.
He kept doing it ogre and ogre again...
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"