I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
If you think Earth has too few human-animal hybrids, then it behooves you to become a centaur.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What do you call a very active hydra?
Hydradynamic.
What do hydras fear the most?
Dehydration!
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?
- What’s Kraken?
Why did king Minos put Minotaur inside a labyrinth?
He wanted to amaze his wife.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
I have no idea how so many people didn’t make it out the labyrinth.
It only took me a minotaur two.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
Last night, like every night, I dreamt I was half horse, half man.
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What is Medusa’s favorite cheese?
Gorgonzola.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What's the similarity between a sailor and a thief?
Both have a phobia for sirens.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
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