What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
A sphinx was guarding a road when a traveler walked by.
The sphinx said to the man, "You may pass if you can answer my riddle: What is wider than an ocean, heavier than a mountain, and unbounded by the laws of physics?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "Imagination."
"Wrong," said the Sphinx. "The answer is your mom."
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
Why did no one want to sit near Shrek?
He had terrible body ogre.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
Where do school-going vampires carry their books?
In bat-packs.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What is a ghoul’s favorite snack food?
Ghoul scout cookies!
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
I feel like I have seen that ghost before...I must have deja boo.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What is a ghoul's favorite soup?
Ghoul-ash.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Witches are always wand-ering around…
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
How do ghosts find out their future? They read their horror-scopes.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
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