Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
Which is a Ghost’s favourite cheese? Ghoul-da Cheese.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What do you call witches who live together?
Broom-mates.
Who put the Howl in Halloween?
Not ghouls just the people they ate!
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What is the fear of giants called?
Fee-fi-phobia
Where do Ghosts travel to for a holiday? South Aarghfricaargh.
What’s a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
Why did the vampire refuse to eat his eggs?
Because they were sunny side up!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
What is a skeleton’s favorite thing to do with their cell phone?
Take skelfies.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
Vampires make awful businessmen. They just can't deal with the stakeholders.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
What does a baby vampire say before going to bed?
- Turn on the dark, I’m scared of the light.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
One of my neighbours was stealing things from the local supermarket whilst sitting on the shoulders of two vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
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