What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
Where does a Portuguese skeleton live?
Lis-bone
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Why was Van Helsing so dedicated to killing Count Dracula?
Because he staked his whole reputation on it!
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What kind of hat does a skeleton wear at Easter?
A Bone-et.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
How do ghosts stay fit? By exorcising daily.
What do you call a sketchy looking Bigfoot?
A Susquatch.
A Ghost walks into a bar. No ones notices.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?
Because everyone was a goblin.
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire for too long?
He became bone dry.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
Why does Bigfoot only leave footprints behind?
Sasquatch doesn't litter in the great outdoors.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What's a ghost's favorite makeup to wear? Mas-scare-a!
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What do you call a hairy monster that lives by a dam?
A weir-wolf.
Scientists believe that one day we will find Sasquatch, just...
Not Yeti.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do ghouls and goblins put on their nachos?
Ghost peppers.
What do you call a bodybuilder skeleton?
A musculoskeleton.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
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