Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Runny!
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
What was it like to fight Medusa?
- At first I was afraid, then I was petrified...
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
Werewolves keep their spare things in a were-house.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
I asked a vampire if I could borrow some money. He told me he needed to go to the blood bank.
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Why did the Ghost turn down the job? He could not see himself doing it.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
A green ogre came up to me and began saying how stressed he was/
I said, "You're a nervous Shrek."
Who does a witch call for help with computer problems?
Hex Support!
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
Witch you were here.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
Why are ghouls so healthy?
They always eat fresh food!
How does Bigfoot clear his sinuses?
With a yeti pot.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
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