In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
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