When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
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