When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
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