These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
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