My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
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