Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Astonishingly, the first comic strip known to man was created by King John of England. It was called the 'Manga-Carta'!
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
Last Christmas, I got my sister a build-it-yourself medieval fort. She wasn't very happy with it, but my mother reprimanded her by saying that it isn't the gift, but the fort that counts!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Medieval castles would have been great hangout spots in modern times because they had a great knight life!
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Who was King Arthur's alcoholic knight?
Sir Ohsis of the Liver
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
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