How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?
For the night knights!
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
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