Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
People hated Ho Chi Minh because he was Hanoi-ing.
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, "If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan."
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
When Lincoln had asked Republican Senator John if he would aid him in capturing Atlanta, he replied, "Sher-man!"
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
Franz Joseph constantly sour about everything because he was always Haydn.
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