Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
When the gladiators fought lions
it was always the mane event
Not a lot of people know this about me, but I'm from ancient Egypt...
Those that do know call me a mummies boy.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
When the Frenchman asked for a book on warfare on Battle of Waterloo from his librarian, she said, "You're just going to lose it."
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
Gordon Ramsey shouted at Queen Mary because she was burning everything.
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Go to BabaMail
