What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
The only kind of Rock music that the Pilgrims were fond of was Plymouth Rock.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
I wouldn't say I liked the documentary that I had watched on the history of WD-40. It was non-friction.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Have you heard the fast gladiator that was a tumor covered in dough?
He was a Roamin' Tumor Roll.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
When the love of his life finally left him, young Fidel cried out in despair, "I didn't think you would embar go my dear one."
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
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