You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
Who led the Australians into the promised land, through a semipermeable membrane?
Ozmoses.
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
One of the historical figures to play music with has got to be the talented Mr. Ben-jam-in Franklin.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Who succeeded the first President of the United States?
The second one.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Go to BabaMail
