What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
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