What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
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