What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
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