What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.