People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.