What kind of dog did Frankenstein want for Christmas?
A lab.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
What did Dr.Frankenstein say when his monster spat on him?
It’s saliva!
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
Why did Frankenstein tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What tree monster prowls the forest?
Frankenpine.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why is Frankenstein such good fun?
Because he soon has you in stitches.
Why did Frankenstein turn to solar?
For the free charge.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
What do you call the Frankenstein of the Gardening world?
An A-botan-ation.
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein’s monster?
HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
How did Dr. Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
On a piece rate.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
Sad to hear that Baron von Frankenstein has given up on his dream of being an actor.
He couldn’t get the parts.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
I love making new friends.
That’s why I studied under Dr. Frankenstein.
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
What’s the best time for Frankenstein to go to a party?
Fright now.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
Where does a thrifty Frankenstein get his limbs?
At the second-hand store.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What happened when Frankenstein’s monster first met his girlfriend?
It was love at first fright.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
How does Frankenstein speak?
Frankly.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
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