What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Go to BabaMail
