How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
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