And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
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