Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
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