What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
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