Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Go to BabaMail
