Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
Why did Julius Caesar never say thank you to anyone?
He didn't speak English.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever?
Julius Sneezer.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
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