What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
She broke up with me while we were swimming in Egypt
I'm still in de-Nile
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
How did Cleopatra feel when she learned she was queen of Egypt?
She was in denial
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
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