What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
A lot of people don't like movies about mummies. I think they get a bad wrap.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
What do Egyptian Pharaoh's and sandwich filling have in common?
They're both in bread.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.