What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?
"Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back"
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?
ANKH ANKH!!
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
I once played chess with an Egyptian King...
...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.