Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
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